i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I bet he comes in French.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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