I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I pour the whiskey from now on
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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