Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
