I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
