Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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