Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
