Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
