It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
