Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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