She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
