Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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