she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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