Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
