I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Found your dick twin last night
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize