So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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