Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
