one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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