So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
