His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
