Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
