After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
