Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
