so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
