fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
