ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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