Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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