I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
