I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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