my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
