Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
