gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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