I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
