Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
