i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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