haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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