Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
