Whod you bang
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
