There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
