fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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