oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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