Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
