dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
