I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
