Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
