It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
