I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
