What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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