idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
