i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
