Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
