How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
