so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
