VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
