I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Acid is not a monday night drug
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
