Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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