You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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