WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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