but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
