He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
