It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
